No subtext here. People are naked.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
