need another drink. this is the easiest way
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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