the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
