well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
