whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
