Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
