we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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