i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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