I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
This house was built for laser tag.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
whose parrot is this?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
