she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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