very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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