i just had sex bonerless
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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