if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
