And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
