That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
