Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
