garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
