Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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