Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
