how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
