what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
