I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
