I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
