remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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