Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
