she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I party with great urgency now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
