omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Where are you guys?
Drunk
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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