If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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