News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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