my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It all started with a game of naked twister.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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