Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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