i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
