just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
