school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
