I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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