They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
