Taylor Swift is so right about you.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
