so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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