your thong is hanging out like whoa
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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