you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
