she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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