He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
