WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
