Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
