so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
