thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
