You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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