Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
His nipple licking is glorious
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