I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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