Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
